You Deserve More Love, Not Less

At this point in our 5D world, we are still working on clearing and balancing our energies to allow more Light into our Multidimensional energetic systems.  I mentioned the other day that I’ve been working through an issue and letting myself rest during that process.  Now that it looks like I’ve cleared all the currently removable blocks on the subject, and since it is so common, I’ve decided to share much of this very personal situation.  It is about

Allowing Oneself to Love and Be Loved

In Tango Ment

Having begun to practice Conscious Creation, I wrote this in a journal in April, 2014:

Right Out Loud

I was thinking how crazy I would look to an outsider, as I go through the day giving my biological part of my spirit the perfect program of age 18; talking to my cells and body parts; declaring connection of body parts to air, water, fire, earth, etc.; declaring that I have, materially, what an outsider couldn’t see; connecting with various spirits for various things; declaring my past to have been what anyone who has known me all my life thinks it wasn’t; connecting my chakras to various great entities.  All mostly right out loud! 

Meanwhile, having had a close call with an unsuitable man, I’m making declarations describing my new man. My friends would say I have not yet met him, but I’m living in the ever existing NOW.

 My man is kind, thoughtful, loving, giving, fun, with a good sense of humor.

 We have great respect for each other.

He is respectful of all my perspectives, philosophy, ideas and opinions, even if he doesn’t yet understand or thinks otherwise.  And vice versa.  We enjoy respectfully discussing these viewpoints.

He supports me in all my endeavors, in my spiritual work and especially in my career as a QHHT hypnotist, writer and lecturer.

I enjoy knowing about his work and interests.

I am happy to see how he operates in life.

I am happy to see him being him.

I have no doubt how he feels about me, and neither do our friends.

He tells me all the time how he adores little things about me.

He often says he loves me.

Hearing me say that I love him gives him great pleasure.

We see delight in each other’s eyes.

He has made space, money and time for a woman in his life.

He is successful and happy.

Having lived rich experiences, he has many tales to tell.

He takes me out to dinner, dancing, plays, symphonies.

We travel together often.

Our happiness on our own is enhanced exponentially by our relationship.

We continue having new goals, yet we each feel fulfilled.

I would often think of that “wrong man” and declare things like, “My man would never yell at me.”  “My man has concern for my feelings.”

Soon after, I took an engineering job in Melbourne, made other things my priorities, and forgot those affirmations and desires.  Accidentally, I had done what Abraham (channeled by Esther Hicks) says to do:

You know what you don’t want, so you know what you do want.  Put your desire out there and then forget it.

With permission of “my man” who has now materialized, I bring him into the story.  I met him as one of my first practice QHHT clients.  During our pre-hypnosis discussion, I could see what a loving man he is.  He had sacrificed other things in his life to help those he loved.  That day I could see that his love goes beyond people to all beings, Mother Earth and all of creation.  And the beings around him acknowledge loving him back.

We stayed in touch for the past year, as we were supportive of each other’s writing and shared learning about the Multiverse and how humans create our personal universes.  We saw each other twice in January and had another QHHT session.  Sometime after I went back to Melbourne, he revealed that he thought of me romantically.  That was a shocker to me, since he had said in that first session how much he still loved his late wife.  I had simply not considered the possibility of his being more than a friend.  There’s where the problem began.

To keep it short, I began alternately pulling him toward me and pushing him away.  I was almost angry with him for loving me.  I hadn’t stopped to realize that of course he reads people’s feelings and thoughts, just like I do.  I let myself pretend he didn’t notice my pushing, as long as he didn’t overtly show how I was hurting him.  The situation was reaching a bursting point.

I feared another serious relationship.  I wasn’t comfortable with the thought of settling in this state, seemingly forever, with a man who isn’t going to pick up and leave.  I feared feeling trapped.  I was afraid I’d eventually, even soon, move on and hurt him.  If anyone doesn’t deserve being hurt, it is him.  He just kept on showing me love and kindness.

Finally, recalling that I had put out the intent of having a good man in my life, I said to myself, “Rosalie, the universe is giving you the most loving man you’ve ever met and you’re just going to let him go?”  While that question was staring at me, I told him that I see his genuinely loving nature.  Though I still was not ready to allow this relationship, it was the beginning of opening up to love.

From there, those energies exposed many blocks in myself, against love.  I had to realize and let go of pain of not being loved in the way I wanted to be, from way back in early childhood.  It came out that I didn’t think I deserved love.  His calling me sweet made me feel uncomfortable and aggravated.  As I shared my past and my feelings then and now, we kept talking.  It was made easier by a good flowing energetic connection of our fifth chakras (good communication), the lack of which was the demise of my previous relationship.  As I cleared those blocks, I afterwards would rest and let everything else go.  That work went to the core of myself.

Eventually we realized that he had been hiding from me the passionate, sensual, exciting, charismatic, freedom and change loving side of himself, which we later learned is a numerologically #5 personality that we both have, plus my lifepath is a 5.  I once asked my daughter-in-law how Thanksgiving was with my ex-husband and wife.  She said something like, “Mmm, it was a Thanksgiving meal.  You know, it’s not like with you.  You make it fun, an event.”  My seeing that liveliness in this new man would have made him a shoe-in much sooner.  I’m sure I wasn’t showing that side of myself, either, as I was pushing him away.

After it seemed we’d gone through all the issues, I ran our numerological Compatibility Report on www.tarot.com.  We spent much time discussing those details and anything that came up from that.

We must have lived in 5D time for the past weeks.  What had been only a few days ago would seem like it had been weeks.  It seems so long since we dropped the barriers and began to freely love each other in what we hope and expect to be a very long-term relationship.

He pointed out how important my opening my heart fully was to my work as Wayshower in 5D. 

It is not only about my work, but by our very existence here,

the more any one of us brings Light into ourselves,

the more we transform the whole Earth.

I also recall how many Wayshowers and Channels advised that the most important thing to do in 2015 is to learn to love ourselves.  I hadn’t realized how much work that meant for me.

“Coincidentally”, I began listening to the video, below, which wraps up the topic of the importance of Love and Loving.  Much of it fits exactly what I just went through.  I “accidentally” had not listened until now.  I suspect you’ll find yourself in it, too.  Please listen.

My man messaged me today,

“I love you and that is all I know how to do.  Love can only love.”

He IS Love.  I’ll take some of that Love!

Long Matt Kahn Video Link